I was once a vicious and piratical black-backed gull like any other – and I might still be today, if it weren’t for The Terrible Incident at the Tip.
Never mind the details, but on that fateful day I lost both my leg and my dignity – and I believed I would die.
And as I lay on the rubbish pile – battered and broken – I ruminated on my life. I thought of the adult birds I’d assaulted, the baby birds I’d eaten, and all the land and food I’d thieved.
In a blinding flash, I realised that the world would be better off without me! Who needs one more black-backed gull? I was GLAD I was dying! GLAD!
However, as the hours passed, my strength returned. Could it be that the universe had other plans for me?
At last I could get up and hop.
But I felt different. The old piratical Captain Cack was gone, replaced by a new me – a black-backed gull who would dedicate her life to apologising for her kind, and trying to right past wrongs.