Saturday, 1 November 2014

I am Captain Cack!

I was once a vicious and piratical black-backed gull like any other – and I might still be today, if it weren’t for The Terrible Incident at the Tip.

Never mind the details, but on that fateful day I lost both my leg and my dignity – and I believed I would die.

And as I lay on the rubbish pile  battered and broken – I ruminated on my life. I thought of the adult birds I’d assaultedthe baby birds I’d eaten, and all the land and food I’d thieved.

In a blinding flash, I realised that the world would be better off without me! Who needs one more black-backed gull?  I was GLAD I was dying! GLAD!

Howeveras the hours passedmy strength returned.  Could it be that the universe had other plans for me? 

At last I could get up and hop.

But I felt different.  The old piratical Captain Cack was gonereplaced by a new me – a black-backed gull who would dedicate her life to apologising for her kindand trying to right past wrongs.


  1. Kia ora Captain Cack! I fully support your campaign - I didn't vote for you yesterday. I am not going to vote for you today. And tomorrow? Hmm, I don't think I'll vote for you then, either. In return, could you have a screech with your mates who hang out at Dunedin Botanic Gardens, and ask them to stop eating the ducklings?

  2. My dearest Ms Stewart! Thank you for your support - it means a great deal. When I am done campaigning in Seabird of the Year I will be touring the nation imploring my kind to stop eating ducklings - but I fear they will not listen.